once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
my poor anus
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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