So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
