I wannas sexs uuuuu
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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