Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
