Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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