my sisters under your porch take her home
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
