You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
