Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i think i just lost a toe
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
