i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
