He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
