Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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