it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
