I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
