That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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