dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you win again, gameday.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
