I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
