I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
