tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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