So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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