Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
