Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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