Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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