pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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