and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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