Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
