I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
