am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We were destined to go to rehab together
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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