I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
