Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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