So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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