I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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