You can't motorboat a personality
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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