I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sponge bath it is.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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