All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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