I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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