Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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