'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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