Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
