My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
