I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
