jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
