I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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