Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
