I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
