You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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