Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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