Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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