Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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