So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
