ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
