okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
