TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize