We're like a lot better than the average bears
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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