some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Everything about him screamed your future.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
