He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
