well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
