He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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