I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
