Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
