you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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