he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
